So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
