I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
