Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
