I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
