i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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