he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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