I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
