Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
