If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
