great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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