I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
