so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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