she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
