Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
