This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
