You're completely useless in the revolution.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize