you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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