he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
