last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
