God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
