The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
