It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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