even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
