don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
