i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
