So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
