if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
