there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
