I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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