fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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