i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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