It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
