there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
