he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Drake has all the answers
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize