If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
