It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
