so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
