She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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