That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
