the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
