Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
