I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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