dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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