im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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