My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
