its not stalking. its research.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize