i can't believe i had my finger in that
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
