Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
There r osticjed everywhere
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
