My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
