You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
The power of my boobs compel you
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
