dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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