I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
