peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Edward fifth and chaser hands
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
