Me too!
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
