ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
