The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize