The maid of honor just puked.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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