i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
