just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
