Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
