she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize