he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
