There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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