jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
