Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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