I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
