So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
