just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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