he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
