I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Randomize
