Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
