He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
