So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
