she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
