and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
