It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
