Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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