I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
