but the lizard people decide everything anyway
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
