Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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