I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
