I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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