I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
